Counsellors use various methods based on what each client needs and their own training and experiences. While some stick to one approach, others mix and match techniques they’ve learned. Plus, we learn a lot from our clients and often develop new interests and specialties along the way.
Regardless of the approach, all counsellors follow three key principles, inspired by Carl Rogers and his person-centred model. First, we need to be real and genuine with our clients. Trying to be someone you aren’t just doesn’t cut it. Second, we must show genuine empathy, making sure clients feel truly understood so they feel their counsellor knows what it’s like to be them. And lastly, we always respect and value our clients for who they are and what they bring to the sessions.
Believe it or not, liking your client isn’t necessary for successful counselling. Personally, I’ve liked most of my clients, but even when I haven’t, I still strive to understand and respect them. The key is to support, empathise with, and help all clients, regardless of personal feelings.
Nowadays, there are more counselling models than ever before. Right now, there are around 70 different types of therapy listed on the Counselling Directory website. No counsellor can be an expert in all of them, so we usually specialise in a few and use a mix of techniques in our work.
In the next part of this blog, I’ll dive into some of the most common counselling approaches and highlight the ideas, principles, practices, and tools that counsellors use to help their clients.
Why Talking Therapy Works: A Chat Worth Having
We’ve all heard about talking therapy—but what’s the deal? How does simply chatting with someone help you shift your mindset and make real changes in your life?
Here’s the thing: feeling genuinely heard and valued can be a game-changer. Imagine opening up in a safe space where there’s zero judgment, and it’s all about you. You get to voice thoughts and feelings that might’ve been bottled up forever, and you’re finally able to let them out. When you talk to someone who truly listens—who actually cares about your experiences—you’re way more likely to open up. And that’s just the start.
Talking doesn’t just help you share; it helps you think. As you express yourself, you naturally assess, consider, and reevaluate. You might find yourself uncovering the “whys” behind how you react, behave, or think. This could be because getting everything out in the open gives you a fresh perspective or simply because suppressed feelings finally have a chance to breathe. And let’s face it—we often push things down due to guilt, shame, or just trying to avoid painful emotions. But once you start processing all those layers, it becomes easier to take a step back and figure out what’s really happening.
It’s not just about feelings, though. Through this process, you start to question your motives, beliefs, and values. For example, someone struggling with low self-esteem might have convinced themselves they’re boring or unintelligent. Negative self-beliefs like these often come from the hurtful messages we’ve received – from parents, teachers, bullies, or coworkers, past or present. A skilled counsellor can help clients revisit these moments and understand how those old messages keep sneaking into their current self-perception.
With some guidance, clients can shift focus to their strengths and qualities that are often ignored by those battling self-doubt. Counsellors might help them take baby steps toward kinder self-talk, turning those critical inner voices into something more balanced and supportive – even when slip-ups happen.
And that’s the magic of talking therapy: it’s about exploring who you are, working through the tough stuff, and finding ways to grow.
Stick around – next time, I’ll cover tools therapists use to help their clients spark change.